Life is moving. It is almost the end of 2015 and so many of my plans and dreams from December 2014 did not materialize. But I am still motivated. I know I can do better. And I see where I have indeed improved. I give thanks for all I have. Life is going along in a way that I can appreciate my journey. I can see clearly where I can go and I finally know and accept who I am. I am writing more and I am certainly reading more.
At work I am still feeling disconnected. For the past two weeks I have pushing myself harder to re-engage, but this is proving to be a bigger challenge than I anticipated. February 2016 will be three years in this particular job and that seems far too long and having done so much work, there is very little to show. I am slowly accepting that I have very little control over matters here. I write and I research but I have no power or input in when anything is published. Therefore I must turn inwards and focus my energies elsewhere.
And this is where I get stumped, each and every time.
Where are Jamaican writers needed?
Where will I get published?
Where will I be allowed more freedoms in choosing work projects?
I desire more and in order to get more it is elemental that I do more. So yes it is December 2015 and the short story collection is not completed and the part time positions went nowhere and my savings are still very low. But despite these I am here. I am awakened.